( i put the ' m e t r o ' in metronome )

LOLOLOLOL MY NOTES AT 5:55 AM

2009-10-19T10:44:03Z

1936 – Hitler remilitarizes Rhineland

Britain’s like EHHH whatever, I guess they have the right to station troops on their own land. Not worth fighting him over this.
France is more like OMG OUR SECURITY but ugh what if Hitler’s troops are super strong. AND OMG BRITAIN NOT BACKING US UP uggghhhh guess this mean I have to acquiesce? Fml.
HITLER BLUFFED!!!!!111!!!1!!. AHAHAHAH SUCKERS – Hitler. Lol the German army was still weak at this point.

Oh dear god, I am having way too much fun with this.
This is unacceptably amusing.

Here, have this cool but completely unrelated picture that I like:

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

2009-10-18T19:41:53Z

So you know how I was an intern at my Congressman's office this past summer? Well before I left I wrote him a personal letter outlining my experience with eating disorders and urging him to co-sponsor the Federal Response to Eliminate Eating Disorders Act of 2009. So I was browsing the Eating Disorders Coalition website today, and when I clicked on the bill I NOTICED HE HAD SIGNED ON AS A CO-SPONSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE ONLY 25 CO-SPONSORS TOTAL SO FAR AND MY CONGRESSMAN IS ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!! OH YOU GUYS I LOVE MY CONGRESSMAN AND THIS ADMIN <3 <3

It shows how far just ONE voice can go.

next thursday

2009-08-19T00:09:20Z

"well it's been nice working with you, by the way you're hot. bye"

in which Linglu attempted to explain health care

2009-08-16T06:18:09Z

oh god, i think all of my treatment friends on Facebook hate me now for my political spam. but - i've never even posted a political note before this - it is always my status updates! and they are always lulzy, never srs bsns!

hey guys,

so unless you've been hibernating for the past few months, you know that we currently have this whole health insurance reform thing going on in Congress - H.R. 3200: America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009. so i may be a policy whore, but in my defense this is friggin' health care, so it is at least semi-relevant to our lives, right? and if you've ever been curious about how this bill would affect mental health coverage... i did some digging last night and thought i'd share with you what i found.

DISCLAIMER! sorry if you hate politics! this isn't meant to be a political post. i - i just - I NEED SOMETHING TO ADVOCATE FOR OTHER THAN DARFUR LOL. and mental health - it is relevant to our lives on some level, yes?

so i am currently interning at my Congressperson's office but even i haven't made up my mind about this bill. (although i guess that's not saying much at all considering how completely and hopelessly indecisive i am about everything in the world ex~~cept Rahm Emanuel and grammar~~.) URGH HEALTH CARE IS JUST SO COMPLICATED so for a moment, let's just forget that about things like Medicare, affordability credits, and risk pooling and just focus on the parts of the bill affecting mental health care.

from what i understand both the House and Senate versions of the bill will require coverage for mental health to be at parity with general medical and surgical coverage. basically insurance companies won't be able to discriminate against mental health coverage by placing arbitrary caps on the number of treatment sessions covered, etc.

in the House version of the bill, parity is required of all plans offered by insurance companies participating in the new Health Insurance Exchange (which is going to be like this new 'one-stop shopping for health insurance' where all the plans are listed on a single website so that it's easier for people to compare them). in the Senate version, however, parity is only required of plans bought by large companies (so if you were purchasing insurance on your own or through a small company, you might not get equal coverage for mental health).

in the House bill, insurance companies are required to provide mental health coverage as part of a minimum package of benefits. the Senate version doesn't specify because it allows the Secretary of Health and Human Services to decide on the minimum level of coverage. so basically the House is awesome and the Senate is lame.

other things in the House or Senate versions of the bill:
-providing grants to school-based health clinics offering behavioral health services.
-more grants! for schools that train clinicians in child and adolescent mental health care.
-$50 million to help integrate mental and physical health care (THINK TREATMENT TEAMS).
-Comparative Effectiveness Research will cover psychological research.

so basically what i'm saying is that the mental health provisions in the bill won't really benefit you if you already have insurance. ~~but i did all this fucking research and i will damn well present it to you whether you like it or not.~~ but it does have a lot of pretty good measures that would benefit people with EDs that don't currently have insurance. AND HELLO $50 MILLION FOR MORE TREATMENT TEAMS :D

so i hope this helps you better understand how the bill, if passed, would affect mental health care. now onto the fun part:

-----------------------------------------------------------

back in April this year, Rep. Kennedy (D-IA) introduced the...
Federal Response to Eliminating Eating Disorders Act of 2009 (FREED)

your face should look like this right about now » :D :D

YES, this is the first ever comprehensive bill on eating disorders addressing research, treatment, education, and prevention.

Research.
determine updated rates of prevalance and mortality for ALL EDs. establish Centers of Excellence to provide training for research and fund research programs.

Treatment.
mandate eating disorder coverage for insurance companies that provide coverage for physical illnesses. insurers must follow standards of care for EDs established by the American Psychiatric Association - i.e., treatment setting must be appropriate for the patient's needs and plans should cover all forms of treatment including psychotherapy, nutrition counseling, medical treatment, psychiatric care, etc.

Education/Prevention.
provide grants for training health professionals, school officials, social workers, coaches, etc. in recognizing and understanding EDs. and PSAs. lots of them.

so here's what you do: arrange a meeting or write a personal letter to your Congressperson asking him/her to co-sponsor H.R. 1193 (FREED). it's currently still in committee, but the more a co-sponsors a bill gains, the more pressure there is for the bill to move through committee. so ask your rep. to sign on to the FREED Act ASAP!

according to the Eating Disorders Coalition blog, Rep. Cohen (D-TN) recently signed on as a co-sponsor all because he received a single letter from a constituent detailing why the FREED Act is so vital and important to her. that's all it takes.

ALSO, there's going to a lobby day including a Congressional briefing on FREED on Sep. 23-24 in DC. i'm interested in going, so let me know if you'd like to come with and/or will be in the DC area during those days. plus it is DC. there's so much to do.

anyway, let me know what you guys think, and keep fighting ♥

~linglu

my friend read it and was like "um i didn't really get the whole section about health care coverage" and just uggggghhhhhh was it that hard to understand or did i just suck at explaining it?

i am back

2009-07-30T01:51:47Z

orientation was... EHH... ok, i suppose. i met some pretty cool people and i'm really excited about my classes this fall: intro to world politics, intro to microeconomics, intro to psychology, and research :D no math or science muahahaha >:D lol i love that whenever people asked me what i'm studying, i'd be like "I AM MAJORING IN ~*~*~SOCIOLOGY~*~*~." although i'm not sure anymore, i might end up taking the psych route instead (damn it psychology, why must you be the most popular major at UMich, why can't you sound as indie~ and elite*~*~* as sociology). idk the upper-level psych classes sounded amazing - ie. Political Psychology, Social Psychology, Psychopathology. I WAS ANGRY ALL THE PSYCH SEMINARS WERE FULL! oh well, anyway wtf area distribution requirements! a quarter of all the classes we take have to be in the natural sciences, humanities, and social sciences! i mean, not that social sciences is going to be hard to cover at all, but mannn i'm not paying for UMich to get a comprehensive liberal arts education. idk, why don't they just have interdisciplinary majors? those kinds of majors are so awesome and unique and completely useful! PERHAPS INTL RELATIONS, SOCIOLOGY, ECON, AND PSYCH COULD MERGE TO BECOME ONE AMAZING DEGREE :D

my MRC meeting went pretty well, except the 3 other guys in my group were total douchebags. they kept interrupting our advisor guy while he was talking to ask questions like:

guy #1: "so, what is research anyway? i mean, i don't think any of us here have ever done research."
me: *chimes in* "actually, i've done a bit of research in high school."
guy #1: "UHH... i don't mean looking stuff up on the internet."
guy #2: "yeah, he means like working in an actual lab!"
me: "yeah, my friend and i helped my dad do some research that we presented to the American Chemical Society."
guy #2: "that's pretty cool."
me: >:|

ugh really, all the guys there were like completely typical immature college boy looking. complete with the abercrombie shirt-cargo shorts-sandals ensemble (if you can call it that). gross gross gross D:< made me think of Hot Man at Work and how much more class he has. yes, i still have not stopped thinking about M, what can i say? he's charming.

anyway, i felt like i had so much to post but i can't think right now. OH THAT'S RIGHT so i wrote a floor statement for my Congressman last week, and he's reading it on the House Floor tomorrow between 6 and 7pm. it's a veteran tribute. so i'll get to listen to him read it on C-SPAN tomorrow night :D

ALSO MY KINDLE BROKE WTF AMAZON. well, it didn't break, but the screen has this weird crack in it now D: D: and my Kindle's only a little over a month old! i dropped it D:

PS. LOOK AT THIS MFING SCHEDULE!

hey you guys.

2009-07-26T22:51:04Z

i am leaving for UMich orientation tomorrow.
i will be stuck there for the next 3 days of my life.

~please entertain me~
as i will probably be wanting to crawl in a hole and hide the entire time i am there.
i have "anxiety issues."

<3333

PS. ANA MARIE COX REPLIED TO ME ON TWITTER LAST NIGHT!!!111ONE!!

THIS IS ME

2009-07-22T03:20:44Z

I DON'T REALLY HAVE A FASHION SENSE I JUST COPY AMERICAN APPAREL

STORY TIME IN PICTURES

2009-07-17T16:41:09Z

fantasies.

2009-07-16T22:10:03Z

oh my god he is so fucking hot it's not even. GUH.
today we walked to his car and had hot sex.
(read: we walked to his car so he could get me a pass for the fair i am staffing this saturday with the Congressman and other random staffer dude.)

my therapist<3

2009-07-16T03:01:10Z

rene: "linglu, i think you're scared of intimacy. i don't think you let anybody see the real you. do you even like talking to people about yourself?"
me: "of course, i love talking about myself--"
rene: "and i don't mean about politics or your beliefs--"
me: "LOL RENE"
rene: "LOL LINGLU"

to fight vikings, in the cold war

2009-07-14T06:09:33Z

so i don't wanna jinx this and all but i'm pretty proud of myself today for being open & myself to people at work. and for taking initiative in asking about going to the education committee instead of sticking with other guy's plans for me to go to tax policy committee to hear presentation from Michigan Chamber of Commerce (boooorrriiinnnggg). i decided going to the COC one anyway bc i think Nathan was kind of encouraging me to go to that one instead since the education one might not be very interesting (?? compared to TAX POLICY??). some bill about making high school curriculums less demanding in terms of graduation requirements and therefore more suited to students who aren't going to college. HELLO WHAT?? how is it that we as a nation complain about outsourcing and then introduce a bill like this?!?! i don't really give a fuck whether you plan on going to college, you need a comprehensive high school education to get anywhere in life at all, if not to just teach you the merits of hard work through studying so that you might reconsider your options. dude, people in other countries would kill for the opportunity to go to college, which is why they study like crazy and are way smarter than us and therefore have a more attractive workforce. ONE WORD: GLOBALIZATION. GET WITH IT.

i'm also proud of myself for not binging today after having that entire cranberry orange muffin. (if you're not up to date yet, for the past 4 yrs of my "life" i have been struggling with anorexia and "features of bulimia" according to my therapist meaning i don't binge/purge but i do restrict afterwards. and yes i use the word struggling for a reason bc it is one fucking sick disease and i don't buy that pro-ana/mia it-is-a-lifestyle bullshit. it is HELL but through it all i've learned more about myself than i would probably even want to know.) usually after something like that i go have a shit ton of other things to eat bc i feel so guilty and need something to temporarily calm me down (contradictory yes) but today i was just like fuck it i'm going to bed. i slept from 6:30 PM until about an hour ago. also my mom was pissed that i didn't eat dinner and threatened my not-eating by dangling everything else in my life in front of me as usual (aka "if you don't eat i'm not letting you go to your internship tomorrow" or when she's really in the mood "if you don't eat i'm not letting you go to college") so i get pissed at her in return. and you ask me why i hate going home after work. anyway i bought this bag of ritz bitz that i was going to binge on but i didn't so i'm not like feeling extremely gross/full or hating myself right now, which, mind you, is a good thing. so yeah i think after i'm done with posting this i'm going to read Washingtonienne on Kindle and eat a few of those ritz bitz just bc i can and not bc i'm binging. i'm hoping i'll be able to stop after just a few and not feel bad i about it like i usually do (which leads to actual binging).

anyway, yes i still gotta post those veronicas pics and videos but tomorrow i promise it will happen. not that you really care, but i like to pretend that you do. ALSO RANDOM BUT I REALLY REALLY WISH I WAS ONLY HALF-ASIAN. sigh. i've personally know 2 girls who were halfies and they look so pretty and exotic. ok sorry done being shallow for the day.

i can't stay away

2009-07-13T05:41:01Z

OH MAH GAWD VERONICAS CONCERT WAS AMAZING.

I WENT ALONE :'( BECAUSE MY FRIEND CLAIRE WOULD RATHER SPEND HER MONEY ON CLOTHES IN HONG KONG THAN GO TO CONCERTS WITH ME. SAD. CONCERTS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE ATTENDED SOLO. HAD NO ONE TO CRY WITH/HUG DURING "HEAVILY BROKEN." NO ONE TO FREAK OUT WITH DURING "UNTOUCHED."

ALSO SORRY FOR CAPSLOCK ATTACK I AM JUST RATHER EXCITED AT THE MOMENT.

I SHALL POST MORE TOMORROW WHEN IT IS NO LONGER 1:31 AM.

ETA: DAMN WTF JUST LEARNED THAT THE GIRLS STANDING NEXT TO ME IN FRONT ROW HAD DINNER WITH LISA AND JESS. I EVEN BECAME FRIENDS WITH THESE GIRLS AT CONCERT AND WE WERE PLANNING TO GO MEET THEM AFTER THE SHOW BUT I LEFT EARLY BC THEY ALL WENT TO THE BAR AND I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE AWKWARD SINCE I WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WHO COULDN'T DRINK. WTF MY LIFE. EXCUSE ME WHILST I WALLOW IN SELF-PITY.

therapy

2009-07-02T03:56:22Z

i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.
i am not a little girl.

i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.
i am an amazing and worthwhile person.

i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.
i am loved.

oh god i don't even know what to do anymore.

2009-06-26T00:47:21Z

so there's this guy at my internship. and he's cute. really cute. and he has this voice that makes you orgasm on the spot. it's really not funny when you're trying to work and he's talking in the background. especially when he's talking/joking with this other female staffer. of course they could be just friends, but i'm still hella jealous. i get to talk to him sometimes, like when i'm transferring phone calls or anything else work-related. one time on his way out he told me he was "impressed with my writing ability." i was like SQUEE. oh god today he smiled a couple times at me and i nearly died. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY, NOT AT ALL. he was one of my interviewers, but like, i didn't notice how hot he was until recently, cause he's not normally the type of guy i go for in terms of looks but he has one HELL of a voice. and he works on health care reform, how hot is that.

all in all i'm just depressed because i know that we will never be together because i will never tell him my feelings or even be able to flirt with him without making a fool of myself.

i feel like this happens with every guy i meet that i like. there have been a couple times when i have tried flirting but i just end up feeling extremely embarrassed and anxious. i don't want to threaten the platonic work relationship between us but i also wish there could be something more. i really really do :( i'm afraid i will live the rest of my life like this: alone, without anyone because i don't open myself up to the people i truly want to be with because i'm just too fucking scared of letting go. i don't even know how to cope with these feelings, so i ended up engaging in eating disorder behaviors again :(

my facebook status.

2009-06-21T01:12:32Z

check it out yo.
idk why don't you make one too.

a little excited... maybe?

2009-06-12T19:57:35Z

OMG

i got a call back from my representative's office! and they're starting me next week tuesday! but damn, did they have to schedule me for tuesdays and thursdays? that means i'll be working mondays and wednesdays in Lansing, which means i'll miss the press briefings and senate hearings that go on during the other days :( :(

oh well, i need to stop looking at the negatives. before i get to the positives, this means i'm going to be writing ALL SUMMER. good god. i hate writing because i'm such a perfectionist when it comes to papers. like, i can never start until thinking everything through and when i'm actually writing i have to make sure every sentence is worded perfectly before i move on! basically, i'm either going to have to get my act together or i'm going to die this summer or risk disappointment. at least if i got to go to press briefings/senate hearings i would only have to take notes! WTF I WISH I ACTUALLY READ IN HIGH SCHOOL.

on the bright side, this will look really good on my resume in case i want to transfer next year considering how sucky UMich's econ program is. (hopefully that'll make up for getting a B and C senior year lol) and it'll keep me ~~stressed~~busy! and there will be structure to my days too.

ALSO i really want the Kindle 2. i'm convinced i'll read more with it. i know this is a lame excuse, but i get overwhelmed with large books and it ends up being a how-many-pages-can-i-read-to-make-myself-feel-productive-today kind of thing rather than for enjoyment. but amazon, why so expensive? where's my touchpad and internet access? and i have to pay for every book too! but in all seriousness i do want it. also this daily show clip is AMAZING. that guy's laugh is priceless.

freaking out slightly.

2009-06-11T04:38:20Z

WHYYY.
i changed my mind literally 15 seconds after sending an e-mail!
i shouldn't have accepted that internship...
why do i even want to work at the Michigan Senate?
i don't even care about state politics and
i feel like everyone there is going to be old and weird.
this is definitely NOT going to be what i had imagined for my political internship.

and i don't think i'm going to get this congressional internship either...
seeing as i already told everyone i was having trouble deciding
between the two IF i got offers from both.
but now everyone thinks i've already got both down.
totally jinxes me.

WHYWHYWHY.
is there anyway to retrieve this e-mail?
DAMNIT i'm going to be writing essays all summer long with this internship.
UGHHATEMYLIFE.

ONEDAY I WILL INVENT SOME KIND OF FEATURE IN MAIL THAT ALLOWS YOU TO RETRIEVE UNREAD SENT E-MAILS WITHOUT THE OTHER PERSON EVER KNOWING THE CONTENTS OF THAT EMAIL. AND THIS WILL ALLEVIATE THE PAIN OF ALL WHO SUFFER FROM INDECISION/RECKLESSNESS. ONE DAY.

to be or not to be

2009-06-06T15:07:51Z

current dilemma: can i handle two internships at once?

so i've got an offer from the Michigan Senate to intern starting the first week of July.
i may or may not also be getting an offer from my Congressman's office to start right away.
problem is, i can't decide which offer to take up, or whether i should do both.

Michigan Senate
PROS: more networking, attending press briefings & senate hearings, getting to do actual policy work, located in Lansing, having time to take econ class at UM
CONS: not really interested in state politics, worried i won't be able to handle the writing deadlines or understand how to even do them (talking points, newsletters, constituent letters, press releases, research reports, etc.), having to mingle with college graduate interns

Congressional District Office
PROS: less stress, get to start right away, work is on a federal level
CONS: work is probably mostly clerical (constituent case work sounds boring), located in Jackson, sitting in office all day

Working Both
PROS: looks really good on resume, more busywork = less time to engage in eating disorder, rare opportunities, starting out with the Congressman's office to get the hang of things
CONS: too much stress, having to drive too much, having to do extra research to understand all state AND federal issues, not enough time to play guitar/hang out with friends

GAHH, i cannot decide AT ALL! i was also thinking maybe if i did the michigan senate one, i could go to China for two weeks in June to get my hair done and spend quality time with my relatives over there. but idk, i'm worried that the lack of structure and sudden change in environment could be too overwhelming for me in regards to dealing with my eating disorder. anyway, i've GOT to email this guy from the Michigan Senate back today, i keep taking FOREVER to reply to him and i'm worried he's getting pissed off. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. this indecision is killing me.

your thoughts, please? i would appreciate any input from you lovely people :)

i would like rahm to persuade me at low volume over a glass of red wine.

2009-05-29T05:12:59Z

finished with my 14-page organic chem formal lab. literally have been working nonstop since 4pm. please PLEASE let this be my last formal lab ever. have jinxed myself several times with this already. in desperate need of new rahm wallpaper. the one right now has obama's face in the center and it's a weird expression. rahm is off to the side and not amused.

~DAY THREE~

DUNNO

2009-05-28T04:27:02Z

DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK.
BUT YEAH.
DAY FUCKING TWO:

this is the start of something new.

2009-05-26T21:57:05Z

DAY 1!

i don't have time to post much right now. all i can say is that i have had a terrible fucking few weeks binging & restricting and am utterly and completely through with it. with God's help, i'm hoping to get through the next few days as well...

nolita_day @ 2009-05-18T00:33:00

2009-05-18T04:37:11Z

you know what, johns hopkins? you REALLY don't want me at your school? really, you'd rather take maya or ian over me? if that's what you really think, then i don't give a fuck. fuck you, hopkins. i'll show you that you just made the biggest mistake in your school's admissions process. you're going to miss out on an amazing person. to think, i wanted to attend YOUR school for the past three years of my life. you know what? don't even expect me to return for grad school. your fucking loss.

don't fuck this up, linglu

2009-05-16T17:03:18Z

~~get done with all sections of english portfolio~~
~~finish MRC essay~~
~~complete presidential powerpoint~~
work on formal lab
~~reply to internship email~~
~~read NYT & get updated on news~~
prepare folder for mrs. bussler
~~finish geometry hw~~
~~prepare kcc econ class forms~~
~~call MRC about accommodations~~
walk 2 miles today, do pilates tomorrow + 1 mile
avoid binging at all costs

IN OTHER NEWS:

WTF ALEX IS GAY? WTF PAUL YOU ARE A THERAPIST, YOU'RE ADMITTING FEELINGS FOR LAURA? WTF KATE SEES LAURA! WTFWTF SOPHIE HAS AN EATING DISORDER? WTF HER DAD IS A PORN PHOTOGRAPHER? POOR LAURA SO TRAUMATIC, OMG PAUL KISSES HER ON THE FOREHEAD AND THEY HUG. D'AWWWWW.

COULD THIS SHOW GET ANY BETTER.

chord shapes in air, go press that dissonance if you dare

2009-05-09T22:45:13Z

TO DO:

~~MRC essay~~
~~stats methodology paper~~
~~get CDs from library~~
~~english annotation~~
~~interview preparation~~
email jonathan
~~email mr. pessetti~~
AP US history reading
~~shop for interview clothes~~
avoid binging at all costs

this is the story of a girl

2009-05-03T18:30:38Z

just had a full serving of blueberry coffee cake from starbucks for breakfast.
nervous as hell. i will make it. this is promise myself.
i am ok. i am i am i am.